Bean there, Done that: The Martian (2015)
I adore this film. Unlike most of the other Bean films, I can’t count how many times I’ve seen it. In fact, I saw it twice at the cinema, and there’s not many films that I can say that about.
Side note: I read the Andy Weir novel because I loved the film so much, and all I can say is that whoever read that novel and had the vision for the film to be as good as it is was a genius. The book is bad.
- I adore the opening of this film. I love the set up – of Mars, of the astronauts and their relationships, and the fact that Watney is left behind almost immediately.
- I could commentate the entire film, but that would be boring and not the point of this post.
- (Chiwetel Ejiofor!)
- (The use of the video diary format is inspired.)
- And Sean Bean arrives! In a meeting where they’re discussing what on (Mars) Watney is doing with the rover. Hello, Flight Director Mitch.
- It’s a very boring business suit. What is WITH that vest.
- And a boring corporate haircut.
- And he’s already in conflict with the boss, because he wants to tell the Ares crew and the boss doesn’t.
- (Benedict Wong!)
- (I adore Benedict Wong.)
- Bean doesn’t often get to genuinely laugh in the films I’ve seen. His giggling reaction to Watney’s profanity is adorable.
- Never before have I basically wept for potatoes.
- That brown corduroy jacket, Bean, my goodness. I have no words.
- It’s Bean that questions whether they should cancel the inspections on the probe…
- and then of course he gets to be the Flight Director when the resupply probe launches.
- and is second to find out about “shimmy.”
- (Donald Glover!)
- I remain firmly convinced that Sean Bean was cast in this movie solely because of the “Council of Elrond” bit, and because he’s the one to explain to the poor media person what the phrase means.
- No one will ever convince me otherwise.
- Ever.
- I find it interesting to see the clash between the NASA Director and the Flight Director – Daniels and Bean – about whether the Ares crew should be told about the possibility of going back to get Watney.
- Bean is playing a disgruntled corporate dude, rather than a villain, which is a rather different role for him.
- Bean’s disingenuous “it wasn’t meeee” is (deliberately) completely unbelievable.
- That ARGYLE VEST is wild.
- This may be Bean’s least fashionably-dressed role ever.
- I love the whole Bean/Wong/Ejiofor scene about turning the MAV into a convertible for Watney’s ascent. Gives us one of the great lines of the movies (“I am excited about the opportunities that affords.”)
- (Beck going hand over hand around the outside of the Hermes with no tether is honestly the bit that makes me feel most anxious in the entire film.)
Verdict: a man stuck in a corporate world where he feels very torn between loyalties and ultimately goes with his gut feeling. Probably makes the right decisions for Watney, definitely the wrong decisions for his career. But hey, at least he doesn’t die, and gets to go play golf afterwards instead.
Movies: 6. Beans dead: 4.
The Tragedy of Macbeth (2021)
Via Apple.
The cast is wonderful, the filming is fabulous, and I love it very much. This might be my favourite Macbeth.
The weird sisters:
- First appearance:
- The first speech is just narration to a black screen… until suddenly it’s a cloudy sky, with three birds circling, and then it’s NOT the sky but sandy ground.
- Brief interlude to Duncan hearing about the battle, and then back to the witches…
- Except it’s not a trio: it’s one woman, a contortionist with an amazing voice and honestly she’s the most terrifying witch I’ve seen yet.
- She seems to be on the battlefield, and she squawks like a crow – the symbolism is glorious.
- And when she speaks to Macbeth, she’s in front of a pool of water – with two versions of her reflected. And her voice is echoed to sound like more than one person…
- And then her two reflections leave the pool and come to stand next to her!
- Second appearance:
- Three figures in the ceiling, looking down at Macbeth – he hasn’t had to go looking for them.
- There are multiple voices, but only one face.
- “Double, double” is put here, as a way of calling the witch’s master. All ingredients thrown into a pool of water that’s in the castle.
- The emphasis on “no more” was some ominous foreshadowing.
Macbeth:
- First appearance: walking out of the sun, into our view: that’s a symbol. In appropriately worn medieval-ish battle dress
- Second appearance: There’s love for Lady Macbeth, but it’s more restrained than in some other versions. Possibly because they’re much older?
- I think this is my favourite version of the “he’s here in double trust” speech. Washington isn’t a coward, he’s being rational and thinking it all through.
- I like Washington’s thoughtfulness as Macbeth. I do think it’s about age; he would be much less convincing as an impetuous, ambitious man. Which is not to say that he is emotionless: his anger at the idea that Fleance might be the reason he has soiled his soul is real.
- Macbeth seeing Banquo, post-death, is preceded by a crow flapping down the hall… and then when he is fighting Banquo, it turns out to be a crow. Like the crow the witches appeared to turn into at the start….
- Unravelling terribly as the English army approaches.
- He’s so tired by the time the English arrive. And resigned to fate. The way he hears that Macduff was untimely rip’d… again, I think it’s age.
Lady Macbeth:
- First appearance: Long pale dress walking down a long, bright corridor. Hair is a crown.
- Her use of fainting is beautifully timed.
- As queen: she is now in a dark dress, beautifully embroidered. Hair still up in a crown, with an actual crown added to it.
- After the Banquo hallucination, she gives Macbeth a cup of wine and adds a drop of… something… and then the next thing we know, it’s “Tomorrow” and Macbeth wakes up and sees the witches. So… playing into Lady M as a witch herself…
- And then when she comes in to him, her hair is in a rough plait and very messy.
- We actually see her once more, briefly, just before the army arrives – and Ross sees her too, and approaches her… menacingly…
The River has Roots, Amal El-Mohtar
I read this courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher. It’s out now!
This was simultaneously very sweet and very biting.
It’s a delight to read, and it will have you clutching at whatever you’re sitting or lying on whilst doing so.
It’s set kind of-ish in our world and also in Arcadia, which might be Faerie. It’s about sisters and love of all kinds, loyalty and spite, riddles and justice and fidelity and rivers.
The River Liss is a character, and I love them.
The willows are characters, too, in a more understated way. I’m Australian so willows don’t play a huge role in my botanical experience – but I’ve read enough European folklore to understand why they feature here.
This novella is completely captivating, like everything El-Mohtar writes, and I want to gently throw it at everyone so they read it and get to enjoy it with me.
Bean there, Done that: The Island (2005)
I might have seen this twice? Maybe I saw it at the cinema? I have no clear recollection. Unlike Ronin, though, I know I have seem it.
- It has such a spectacular opening: the idyllic boat ride, the terrifying maybe-drowning, waking up in the whiteness of the bed… also, Ewan and Scarlett. SO hot in 2005… and also in 2025.
- I had forgotten this was a Michael Bay! Lots of blue already.
- Michael Clarke Duncan!
- And THERE’S Bean: Dr Merrick. Maybe a psych? Certainly a top person. And Lincoln knows that needing to see him means there’s something wrong…
- I adore his office. The art, the architecture, the desk-as-screen.
- His glasses are amazing – so early 21st century: frameless, rectangular.
- Slicked back hair, short of course.
- McGregor’s accent is very confused.
- (Steve Buscemi!)
- A pod with “Merrick something” on it, with a human inside… so Dr Merrick is the person in charge then. And thus we discover that the facility is making humans, and the whole “surviving a catastrophe” thing is a lie.
- The xbox boxing arena is terrifying.
- Bean sitting in his room, alone, to watch the Lottery: fireplace, high ceilings, very different from the rest of the place.
- McGregor gets to the area he’s not meant to be in… and then Bean sees him on the security footage and loses his nut.
- Bean does coldly furious very nicely.
- Finally realised who Jones Three Echo is: Neelix, from Star Trek: Voyager.
- Bean selling his product to rich people: the ability to grow a body that will provide organs, and promising that all bodies are vegetative, rather than aware.
- But apparently without living, the organs fail. Which… seems unlikely, but it’s a good story.
- (Djimon Hounsou! Oh. Except he’s a bit evil. Well, a security consultant anyway.)
- Hearing the original Tom Lincoln with Ewan M’s actual accent is wild.
- Bean announces that because of the defect – developing curiosity – four product lines are going to be… eliminated.
- And then he shows that he has a god complex, and that he has convinced himself his ‘products’ have no souls.
- (Dijon Hounsou comes good!)
- Bean actually gets his hands dirty, going after Lincoln with a gun! Fisticuffs ensue.
- Also his hair gets mussed.
- And then he dies because their fight means he ends up hanged.
- Everyone gets out, and now there’s going to be a terrible problem with famous people having clones hanging around, plus they all need to be taught how to live in the world… but that’s not the problem of this film.
- Thing I just realised: I know it’s a completely different situation, but there’s definitely a similarity between this and Severance. Innies and outies.
Verdict: Corporate villain. Even the starting point of his journey – wanting to provide organs for rich people so they can live longer – is grotesque: there’s no suggestion that he starts from a particularly altruistic position. And then willingly keeping conscious humans in prison for his own greed? Evil.
Movies: 5. Beans dead: 4.
Randomly Yours, Alex 