I might have seen this twice? Maybe I saw it at the cinema? I have no clear recollection. Unlike Ronin, though, I know I have seem it.

• It has such a spectacular opening: the idyllic boat ride, the terrifying maybe-drowning, waking up in the whiteness of the bed… also, Ewan and Scarlett. SO hot in 2005… and also in 2025.
• I had forgotten this was a Michael Bay! Lots of blue already.
• Michael Clarke Duncan!
• And THERE’S Bean: Dr Merrick. Maybe a psych? Certainly a top person. And Lincoln knows that needing to see him means there’s something wrong…
  • I adore his office. The art, the architecture, the desk-as-screen.
  • His glasses are amazing – so early 21st century: frameless, rectangular.
  • Slicked back hair, short of course.
• McGregor’s accent is very confused.
• (Steve Buscemi!)
• A pod with “Merrick something” on it, with a human inside… so Dr Merrick is the person in charge then. And thus we discover that the facility is making humans, and the whole “surviving a catastrophe” thing is a lie.
• The xbox boxing arena is terrifying.
• Bean sitting in his room, alone, to watch the Lottery: fireplace, high ceilings, very different from the rest of the place.
• McGregor gets to the area he’s not meant to be in… and then Bean sees him on the security footage and loses his nut.
  • Bean does coldly furious very nicely.
• Finally realised who Jones Three Echo is: Neelix, from Star Trek: Voyager.
• Bean selling his product to rich people: the ability to grow a body that will provide organs, and promising that all bodies are vegetative, rather than aware.
  • But apparently without living, the organs fail. Which… seems unlikely, but it’s a good story.
• (Djimon Hounsou! Oh. Except he’s a bit evil. Well, a security consultant anyway.)
• Hearing the original Tom Lincoln with Ewan M’s actual accent is wild.
• Bean announces that because of the defect – developing curiosity – four product lines are going to be… eliminated.
• And then he shows that he has a god complex, and that he has convinced himself his ‘products’ have no souls.
• (Dijon Hounsou comes good!)
• Bean actually gets his hands dirty, going after Lincoln with a gun! Fisticuffs ensue.
  • Also his hair gets mussed.
• And then he dies because their fight means he ends up hanged.
• Everyone gets out, and now there’s going to be a terrible problem with famous people having clones hanging around, plus they all need to be taught how to live in the world… but that’s not the problem of this film.
• Thing I just realised: I know it’s a completely different situation, but there’s definitely a similarity between this and Severance. Innies and outies.

Verdict: Corporate villain. Even the starting point of his journey – wanting to provide organs for rich people so they can live longer – is grotesque: there’s no suggestion that he starts from a particularly altruistic position. And then willingly keeping conscious humans in prison for his own greed? Evil.

Movies: 5. Beans dead: 4.