As well as the MCU films, I’ve also been watching the X-Men movies (yes, thank you Disney). I have been a fan of these films ever since they came out – I’ve seen all of them before; they even inspired me to read some of the comics… once there was a run that was focussed on an all-female team. It is fair to say, though, that not all X-Men movies are created equal. So here’s my order, based almost entirely on my subjective attitude towards the various characters and their portrayals (and it doesn’t include the Deadpool films because they don’t seem like X-Men movies to me… by which lights the Wolverine films ought also not to be here, but I’m not claiming consistency).

1. X-Men 2: while #1 was fine, I enjoyed this far more; I like the Stryker storyline, I like that the characters are already largely established and we can just get on with a storyline. There might be an element of nostalgia in this ranking, but I’m fine with that.
2. Logan: I guess it fits here? it sort of feels bad to put a movie like this into the list, because it feels so completely different – on another level really.
3. X-Men First Class: it’s not entirely about Michael Fassbender as Magneto, although he is enthralling in this role. Despite what I said about X2, in this instance I did enjoy the ‘getting the team together’ aspect and seriously, mucking around with the Cuban Missile Crisis is just hilarious. Also: Kevin Bacon. What’s not to like about Bacon as a villain?
4. X-Men: Days of Future Past: love me a crazy time travel story, and a film that has both Fassbender and McKellen as Magneto is fine by me (he is such a more compelling character than Charles). Wolverine seems to provide a splendid vehicle for the time travel, although the explanation for why his mind is as resilient as his body is … nonexistent. First Class was 60s, now it’s the 70s (and 50 years later); so much scope for fashion and cars and politics. I really like the way the narrative flicks between then and now; it does excellent things for the tension.
5. X-Men: The Last Stand. Probably the most controversial of my choices. I really like this film! I like the way it deals with the issue that basically all the films confront: is it necessary to be violent to get the rights you deserve? Also, there’s a fabulous range of mutations here, which is a lot of fun to watch. Hilariously, at the end, after Wolverine has killed Jean Grey and feeling super bummed about it, Jackman’s pose is identical to the pose he strikes at the end of Van Helsing when, as the werewolf, he’s just killed a woman he loves (and he’s shirtless both times, too).
6. X Men Origins: Wolverine. Apparently Hugh Jackman was way down the list of possible actors to play Wolverine, which… these days is just bizarre. I don’t really get why Wolverine is the character that has been so obsessively followed in the films – I want more Storm, myself – but as origins go this is a pretty good, and horrifying, one.
7. X-Men: it’s fine. Rogue’s fine. Magneto’s plan is appropriately appalling. It’s just not the best.
8. X-Men Apocalypse: this is a very silly film. I guess it explains how you go from James MacAvoy’s full head of hair to Patrick Stewart’s chrome dome? Yet another explanation for the pyramids! (I pay Stargate more credit, personally; landing pad for spaceship makes much more sense.) A mutant who can supercharge other mutants is … an idea, sure.
9. The Wolverine: gosh this film is stupid. Logan is all cut up about Jean – fine. He goes to farewell the Japanese soldier he rescued from the Nagasaki bomb – also fine, I guess? But then family politics and human selfishness happen… and Logan sleeps with a woman so much younger than him it’s just not funny… and things blow up. Meh.
10. X-Men: Dark Phoenix: this film just makes me angry. It does exactly the same thing as Last Stand, which makes zero sense for a franchise; and it doesn’t even do it better: it removes even more of Jean’s agency, and the added aliens are just ridiculous (sorry, Jessica Chastain, but you were). The idea that Jean’s control is overridden because of some ~~cosmic force~~ is insulting, and she basically becomes a lampshade, which is infuriating and retrograde. And then she sacrifices herself – after killing Mystique, who is afforded a redemption arc – and Charles says that “she’s free”? and Tuner’s voice over says she’s evolved? Get lost.