Crank
Hmmm.
Jason Statham is an awesome action actor. He’s such a straightman, but delivers comedic lines gloriously. I believe he does lots of his own stunts – and frankly, the only reason to watch most (all?) of his movies is for the stunts.
This movie… well. Action? Tick. Dialogue? Not so much. Care factor of said balance? Not so much. Cos the action is So Cool.
Not the sort of film to watch if you want actual substance – but really, who does? I quite liked the quirky ending, though. And there’s no pretense at credibility, which I appreciated; it was designed and executed as exploding-chasing-gratuitousness, and that’s exactly what you get.
(See how I’m not even bothering to pretend at a plot description? It would be pointless. It’s not why you’d watch it.)
Eagle Eye
We saw it today. It was a lot better than I expected, to be honest.
Shia is pretty crap. The chick was ok. Billy Bob Thornton is great.
I love the plane-in-the-tunnel trick.
I really wasn’t expecting what this turned out to be, but it made sense (you know, in context, where “making sense” is associated with “utter suspension of belief”).
Lots of explosions! And car chases! And scenes where I couldn’t really follow who was where!
I enjoyed it a lot.
The Contractor
Barely redeemed by the presence of Wesley Snipes. Rather disappointing. Some okay action sequences, an interesting enough if not exactly original story, and a silly final scene. In fact, it gets sillier in retrospect.
*sigh* I seem not to be doing very well in my adventures to try movies I’ve not heard of, recently. Perhaps there’s a reason I haven’t heard of them.
Resident Evil
In my defence, I didn’t actually realise it was a zombie movie.
What unmitigated crap!
OK, so Milla Jovovitch is pretty cool; and the dude – when I finally realised he was the delightful Black Prince in A Knight’s Tale – is pretty spunky… so not actually ‘unmitigated’.
Largely unmitigated crap!
The Last Legion
Well, call me naive, but I did actually think that this movie would be at least partly based on history, which is why I was interested in watching it. Perhaps that indicates how little TV I watch, because clearly I hadn’t watched the theatrical trailer for it. Otherwise, I would have known that while the beginning is based on historical fact – the Goths being nasty buggers on Rome – the rest was a glorious fantasy.
Spoiler Alert! Stop here if you don’t want it a bit spoiled!
Once I saw little Romulus go for the sword, and read the ‘Latin’ inscription there, I realised vaguely in which direction it was heading… hello, Caliburnus! Not for nothing am I an Arthur tragic. Mind you, it did take my fuzzy little mind a while to realise the teacher was Ambrosinus and the captain Aurelius, so maybe it has actually been too long since I thought about it.
Anyway, once I realised that this was an Arthur-fantasy, I switched expectations and really quite enjoyed it. One one level, anyway, it was miles better than poor old Clive Owen’s Arthur, by which I was utterly disappointed (except for Hengist). To be honest I had been enjoying this one even before I realised what was going on: the nice prince/pauper moment at the start; Colin Firth in general; John Hannah… and the sets were quite nice too, except for that utterly CG statue the kid insisted on moping about on top of. (And as kid actors go, he wasn’t too hopeless.)
A couple of things disappointed me. Mira – well, it was cool to have a chick warrior (always is!), and it was obvious why she was included, but I thought the romance was a bit rushed. Vortigern – cool mask, but not enough back story. I was hoping to find out he was Ambrosinus’ evil brother; that would have been cool.
It does fascinate me that so often Rome is equated with either America or Britain… Firth’s not-particularly-rousing speech about Roman warriors and Roman hearts sounded like something that would appear in a patriotic movie today (it could almost be dubbed into Independence Day). Seriously, it makes me wonder whether these writers/directors know anything about that empire. Probably not.
Boycott
I saw a preview today that makes me shudder and call for a boycott.
House Bunny.
Now, with a title like that, it’s hard not to desperately want to see it, yeh? And the lead ‘actress’ looks like a wannabe Goldie Hawn. What could possibly be bad about that?
Old Playboy Bunny goes to be a sorority Mom. Turns nerdy girls into glamour queens.
Because what all of us nerdy girls desperately want is to be liked for our boobs, not our brains. Yup.
Anyway, I say: argh! and Boycott!
/grumble away into my little nerdy hidey-hole…
ETA: someone pointed out to me that I don’t actually want a boycott, as I was never going to see it in first place. I more want a “violently object loudly to the movie at every opportunity” movement.
Next: A Public Service Announcement
That is, it’s next up; and it’s about Next.
Sometimes I’m so clever I amaze myself.
At any rate: Next. Nic Cage, Jessica Biel, Julianne Moore. Las Vegas magician can see 2 minutes into the future but only about himself. How could it possibly not be an awesome B-grade flick??
I spent most of the movie wondering just how much clout you have to have before you get away with having really, really bad hair in a movie. Because in this one, Cage’s hair is distractingly bad. Worse than his acting.
Oh, and the movie? Avoid at all costs. Rarely have I seen worse.
LOTR
Don’t enjoy LOTR (Kate)? Just look away now. I am happy to count myself among the myriad fans of the series.
I re-watched the LOTR movies the other day: my love was out a number of nights, and I wanted to watch something I knew he could take or leave, and they fit the bill. I do like them, a lot. Much of the action etc is, as far as I am concerned, true to Tolkien’s intention. However, I realised again that there are some characters who rather hard done by, in the films.
Saruman: odd choice, perhaps, but I think that to imply that he just stays happily in Orthanc after his plans are ruined sells him short. The white wizard, planning to share Sauron’s glory, stays cooped up in his tower? I think now. Plus, how much more satisfactory is it to know that he goes from magus supremo to hedge wizard, accompanied only by Wormtongue?
Tom Bombadil: utterly, utterly hard done by, due to his complete absence. I can narratively understand why he was left out, but that doesn’t make me any happier about it. Besides, how can a viewer have the appropriate fear of Fangorn Forest if they havne’t first experienced Old Man Willow?
Ghan-buri-Ghan: as for Bombadillo.
Treebeard: why, the movie makes him out to be positively hasty.
The Shire: no chance for the Cottons et al to show their mettle? Very sad. No Scourging of the Shire was one of my greatest disappointmentswith the films.
Aragorn and Arwen: give up on each other?? I don’t think so, sunshine.
I might have to go read the book again.
I love fans
I love the internet, and I love fans.
Because truly, Star Trek as the A-Team? Does it get any better?
Just the titles… but surely this could be the start of something bigger?
Two utterly different movies
1. Aeon Flux. I love this movie. I love the look, I love Theron, I love Csokas… it’s just wonderful. I’ve never seen the animated series and from the stills I don’t want to. For me, this movie exists in glorious isolation. Yes, there are vague resonances with cloning issues today (and it could be interesting to draw parallels between it and Children of Men), but they’re not important for my enjoyment of the film. It’s just cool, and it remains so – this must be the third time I’ve seen it, and I could probably rewatch it every year or so.
2. Dukes of Hazzard. One that, frankly, I thought I would never bother to watch, but it was just sitting there, and J convinced me we should give it a go. So, OK, it’s hilarious in spots. And there’s not quite as much of Jessica Simpson’s boobs as I had expected. The car chases are fun to watch; Luke and Bo are an enjoyable duo, and it’s played well by Scott and Knoxville. Boss Hogg could have been a bit more evil, I thought – he wasn’t quite as hateful as I anticipated. And heck, who doesn’t like a spot of Willie Nelson being a moonshine-swilling, Korean War vet? So it was entirely appropriate fun for a Saturday night.
Randomly Yours, Alex 