Our idea initially was that we would watch one episode a week, which would get us about up to episode 7. But Phantom Menace left such a bad taste in our mouths that we decided we had to watch the second: it’s not a great film, but at least it’s not as bad as the first. Right?

So:

Attack of the Clones: things that weren’t too bad:

• Jay Laga’aia.
• Ewan McGregor’s hair is definitely better in this film.
  • Obi-wan in general is better in this film. He’s better when he’s stern.
• Female assassin.
• Female Jedi!!
• Yoda in a city.
  • Yoda taking part in politics.
• YODA FIGHTING.
• Jedi younglings are super cute.
• Jango Fett.
• Boba Fett.
• Christopher Lee!
  • Christopher Lee in a speed racer!
  • Christopher Lee with a light sabre!
  • Christopher Lee fighting Yoda!!
• James: at least they got John Williams back.
  • And the use of CG isn’t quite as bad as Episode 1.

What were you thinking, George?

• Not enough Jay Laga’aia.
• You kept Jar Jar, George. You kept Jar Jar.
• Amidala + Anakin: everything about every scene they are in together.
  • Amidala’s clothing choices. I’m not presuming to speak for every woman here, George, but I think it would have been more realistic for a woman who is being forced to be alone with a man whose romantic interest makes her uncomfortable not to wear provocative clothing. YES she has a choice in what she chooses to wear, NO I am not blaming her for Anakin’s infatuation, but nonetheless it’s a dubious choice for your costuming.
• Anakin in general.
  • So petulant
  • So creepy towards Amidala
  • His rebelliousness towards Obi-wan is just embarrassing.
• You have NO RESPECT FOR PHYSICS, George. Super leaps between struts is one thing. But the level of timing required to jump from the speeder onto the assassin’s speeder, not to mention the leap itself, is truly ludicrous. NO RESPECT, George.
• Amidala always getting pushed around by the menfolks. Boring, George.
• You fridged Shmi Skywalker, George. Couldn’t you at least have given her a bit more of a story for herself? Shown her with Jack and the kids?
• You made Christopher Lee say some really bad dialogue, George. That’s nearly unforgivable.
• James: the CG is still pretty bad.